I miss fat ladies clothes.

Years ago I read in an article that sometimes people who lose weight struggle to buy clothes that fit because they still think of themselves as overweight.

I remember thinking that the phenomenon was completely ridiculous, that if I ever got down to a smaller size I would not have that problem.

First of all, I’m not an idiot. I figured that any reasonably intelligent person would be able to recognize that weight loss means smaller clothes.

Second, even though I’ve been overweight practically my whole life, I never identified as fat.

It’s one thing to know you’re overweight, it’s another to let it determine who you are.

But apparently I am an idiot. And being overweight was a bigger part of my identity than I realized.

Until recently, I had a system for clothes shopping. I’d head directly to the “woman’s” section of the store, or the “fat ladies clothes” as I like to call it.

Once there I’d start at the biggest sizes and worked down until I found clothes that fit.

Now that I’ve lost a few pounds, I can’t seem to break the habit of picking up the largest size on the rack.

It seems I have lost all perception when it comes my body and I’m unable to persuade myself that I’m not an XXL girl anymore.

When I do succeed in taking a sweater or shirt in a smaller size into the dressing room, I take a bigger one just in case.

“I better take a larger size in with me since this one definitely won’t fit,” I say.

Then I’m surprised when the smaller one does in fact fit me.

The other day at a concert, the tour manager offered me a t-shirt from the band’s merchandise.

She held up one in medium. “This is one would look good on you.”

“I think I need an extra-large,” I told her.

She looked at me with skepticism. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely,” I assured her , thinking that there’s no way a medium t-shirt would fit me.

She gave it to me, but I could tell she wasn’t convinced.

And she was right. The shirt is too big.

I thought that losing weight would open up a world a fashion to me.

I would be able to shop at more stores, have a bigger selection. I pictured myself in every makeover scene in every chick flick every made, trying on one fabulous outfit after another.

Instead I’ve lost all sense of myself and often leave empty-handed because I have no ability to determine what fits and what looks good.

I think it was easier when I could stick to the fat ladies clothing.

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One thought on “I miss fat ladies clothes.

  1. You just need time to get used to this. Isn’t is reasonable that after a few decades of being one size, becoming another size won’t feel “automatic”? Give yourself time. Indulge yourself!

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