I didn’t want an award until someone else won one.

I haven’t blogged in over a month.

I don’t have any excuses. It’s not like I’m so busy that I can’t take the time to write. I was even on vacation for 12 days of that month and didn’t blog once.

The truth is I just haven’t felt like I have anything to say. Or maybe anything worth saying would be more accurate.

I read other blogs and the writers are so passionate. They believe strongly in something (or in some cases everything) and write eloquent defenses of their positions.

My position on most things is “eh.”

I just don’t feel that strongly one way or the other on most topics. And how often can I blog about my cats or books or work or any of the other aspects of my life that really aren’t that exciting?

But I really miss writing.

So here I am, blogging again, getting back in the habit of writing regularly.

And even if what I have to say is boring, it makes me happy to write it down so who cares.

I have never thought of myself as a jealous person.

Oh sure, I’d say “I wish I had hair like that” or “Why can’t I win the lottery” but that’s not real that-should-have-been-me-damn-it, can’t-see-straight jealousy.

But a colleague recently won an award, an award that I didn’t even know existed until he won it, and it really pisses me off.

It’s not that I’m dying to win this, or any, award. But my accomplishments are just as impressive and no one would ever think of recognizing me because I’m unassuming.

Where he makes sure everyone knows about every little achievement, I quietly go about my work.

Where he covers up his mistakes, I freely admit to making them.

Where he takes full credit for his organization’s success, I (rightly) praise the team efforts of my board and staff.

Bragging about my own talents just isn’t my style.

What we need are awards for the introverted leaders, the folks that work hard and aren’t flashy about it. The people who quietly run things in the background while the loud people are talking about themselves.

(Just imagine how short the acceptance speeches would be at that ceremony.)

If the introverts can’t have their own awards, I guess I’ll have to forget about any recognition.

I’m okay with that.

Or I will be as soon as everyone stops talking about my colleague’s stupid award!

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