I have a tendency to come up with (sometimes harebrained) ideas and then obsess about them.
They can be little ideas, like planning a completely unnecessary road trip because we don’t have anything to do on Saturday, or big ones, like writing one thousand words a day for a whole year.
Whether large or small, I over think them.
I plan the road trip until becomes a completely mapped out journey with a printed itinerary and scheduled bathroom breaks.
And instead of simply writing one thousand words every day. I start a log, attempt to write a book, go to writing workshops, daydream of being a published novelist.
Here are my two latest fixations:
First, I decided a few weeks ago that I want a different hairstyle. Lacking the patience to let it grow out, I started researching short cuts for fine hair.
I googled. I looked at magazines. I stared at other women as they walked by, trying to decide if their style would look good with my hair, with my face.
And then when I found one I like, I started the intense “thinking about it” phase.
I’m spending time picturing myself with the haircut. I’m asking “Will I like my hair that short? Is my face too round for that style?”
My appointment isn’t until April 6th, so I have plenty of time to obsess.
When I’m not thinking about my hairstyle, I’m thinking about getting an MFA in creative writing.
I don’t need an MFA to write. It’s expensive and time-consuming but I still can’t stop obsessing about it.
I researched low residency programs online and (of course) found one that I’ve fallen in love with. It’s even in Vermont.
The website says, “Under the guidance of our distinguished, award-winning faculty, students develop their own individual study plans and investigate a wide variety of styles and genres.”
During the residency students “network within an inspiring community of their peers, and attend keynote speeches, publishing panels, student and faculty readings, workshops on craft and literature and master classes.”
I want an individual study plan! I want to network within an inspiring community! I want to attend master classes!
I won’t do it. I won’t even apply.
Even though I believe that education for education’s sake is perfectly legitimate, I refuse to go into debt for what boils down to a vanity degree.
But my mind keeps returning to how much fun it would be.
I’ll be like this until I actually get my hair cut and another scheme takes the place of my fascination with getting an MFA.
I just hope it will be something more practical and less expensive.