Matt Lauer tried to steal my deodorant.

Sometime a little daytime television is a dangerous thing.

Last week, after watching a segment on Today or Good Morning America or some such show, my mother informed me that I had to stop wearing so much deodorant.

In her defense, I do wear a lot of deodorant. She knows this because every other week I say, “I need to get some deodorant when we shop for groceries.”

Ok, maybe it’s not every other week, but it is quite often. About as often as I say that I need to buy mouthwash. Which is pretty often.

It’s not that I put on deodorant more than once a day. Unless I have an evening meeting, I just use it in the morning.

But I don’t just swipe on a little deodorant. I go back and forth a few times. Many times.

I blame my alleged overuse of antiperspirant on my paranoia of stinking. (Actually, that probably explains the mouthwash too, now that I think about it.)

I have always worried about smelling bad, every since I was a kid.

When I was in school there was a girl who always smelled a little bit like pee. And a boy that always smelled like mothballs. To this day I can tell you their names even though I haven’t seen them since middle school.

I didn’t want to be that kid. I still don’t want to be that kid. So maybe I go a bit overboard with the powder fresh scent Secret.

But even though I can admit a mild addiction to antiperspirant, I still balked when my mother told me Matt Lauer had told her deodorant was bad for me.

I didn’t agree to cut back immediately, but I did agree to do some research.

According to the internets, there was a theory back a few years ago that deodorant containing the preservative paraben might be linked to breast cancer.

Most of the info I found supporting this was from sites that proclaim that everything is bad for you, from deodorant to milk cartons.

The more reliable sites, if anything on the internet can be considered reliable, reported that “small studies” linked deodorant and breast cancer but most experts agree this is not the case.

The American Cancer Society website states flat out: “There are no strong epidemiologic studies in the medical literature that link breast cancer risk and antiperspirant use, and very little scientific evidence to support this claim.”

So what was George Stephanopoulos talking about that got my mother so excited?

I have no idea. But I did my research like I promised.

At least now I don’t have to feel guilty about not smelling.


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