I Don’t Even Want To Know Which Side She Butters.

Just when you think you know someone, they say something that completely surprises you.

This morning, both my mother and I had an English muffin for breakfast, at the same time. That doesn’t happen very often since we don’t eat breakfast together during the week and on weekends we tend to have bagels.

But today, we both were in an English muffin mood.

English Muffin

I really like English muffins, especially if they are toasted very well and dripping with peanut butter.

And, although the English muffin makers would like us to think that their muffins split in half perfectly, we all know that the two sections are different. One is thicker and doughier; the other is thinner and crispier.

I prefer the thinner, crisper halves.

I mentioned this to Mom as I slid our English muffins into the toaster this morning and joked that I was going to take both the bottoms halves and give her both the top halves.

She answered, “That’s ok. I like the thinner ones better anyway.”

“If you like the thinner ones, you don’t want me to talk both the bottoms then,” I told her. “You’d be stuck with the thicker ones.”

“No, the tops are the thin ones.”

I was stunned. How can anyone possibly think that the thicker halves of the English muffin is the bottom?

If you look at how the muffins are packaged, the thinner half is always on the bottom.

That half is flatter too, because that’s the side that sits on the baking sheet. You wouldn’t call the baking sheet side of a cookie the top. Because it’s the bottom of the cookie!

How could I not have known my mother is completely upside down when it comes to English muffins?

And what else is she hiding from me?


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