I’m going to write something that’s not politically correct: I’m kind of fond of global warming.
Before you all start sending me nasty messages saying, “Climate change is going to destroy the earth” and “Global warming means the end of civilization as we know it” and “Watch Al Gore’s movie, you idiot,” let me say that I know all that.
I’m not one of those crazies who believe global warming is a just liberal myth, some story made up to scare us all into behaving.
I haven’t actually seen “An Inconvenient Truth,” but I do understand that destroying the ozone layer or atmosphere or whatever it is we’re killing with our car exhaust and aerosol cans is bad.
But, God help me, I also love the mild winters, early springs and long, hot summer heat waves.
And every time I see that chart showing how it’s going to get hotter in the coming decades and that Vermont will eventually have the same average temperatures that they now have in North Carolina, a part of me thinks, “Yippee,” even though I would never dare say it aloud.
You have to understand, I really dislike the cold.
It’s silly that I live in Northern New England, when you think about it. But I was born here and just never left.
(Plus, at least the East coast is politically liberal. I’d hate to move to some hot state only to find out that I’m surrounded by conservatives and Republicans. I’d rather put up with the snow, and that’s saying something.)
How come all the people who go on and on about the evils global warming never talk about how hard winter weather is on folks?
People don’t just die when the temperature gets too high. They can freeze to death in the cold too.
Winter means drivers dying in accidents due to slippery roads, old people falling on icy sidewalks and skiers being buried in avalanches.
Sure, the heat can be as mean and unforgiving as the cold. But at least you can be outside in the summer weather and not have to wear layers upon layers of clothing or freeze your tookus off.
And then there’s the cost of winter.
Heating bills go up, causing people to choose between food and fuel. Cities and towns have to buy salt and sand for the roads and pay plow drivers to clear them.
Then that salt eats holes in all the cars, which have to be repaired. You have to buy special tires to drive in the snow. And snow shovels and ice scrapers and gloves and coats.
Winter is just plain expensive.
Don’t worry. I still do my part to control greenhouse gases. I’ve traded my can of hairspray for a squirt bottle. I drive less and carpool when I can.
So you can’t fault me for enjoying the heat, can you?
And if the ocean levels keep rising, my land-locked townhouse will be seaside before long.
Just looking on the bright side.