This day 365, but no celebratory post or project wrap up. Why? Someone didn’t realize that 2012 was a leap year, so while I have written for 365 days, I technically complete the year tomorrow on May 25.
It’s a small thing, but I’m waiting until tomorrow to issue the official “woo hoo!”
I may have mentioned that I attempted to write a romance novel in high school. My plan was to sell it in order to pay for college.
Well, it was never published and I didn’t know what ever happened to it.
Then last week I came across two black and white composition notebooks. The top one had my name written on it and “Private!! Do Not Touch!”
It was my long lost romance novel!
I decided that I’d summarize it with a few excerpts and comments for your entertainment. (I can’t decide if this is the most stupid or most brave thing I’ve posted!)
The hero is Leal (I distinctly remember one of my friends telling me that Leal sounds like a water-dwelling mammal. She was right.)
Leal is “tan, curly brown hair, 6’2”, blue eyes.”
He is the captain of a ship named “The Maiden Lady.” (I’m not surprised. I thought pirate types were sexy long before Johnny Depp made them so)
In a stunning twist on the traditional bodice-ripper, Leal was the poor one. He only had a ship because a family friend gave it to him after his father died, tragically I’m sure.
“Finn Seabert had been his father’s good friend. When Leal’s mother died in childbirth, Finn had arranged for a nurse to take care of newborn Leal and gave his father, Bram, a house of the edge of his land. Bram Tavis had been a proud man and paid his friend back every cent out of the small profit he made at his fishing business. When he died of a heart attack, he had no money to leave Leal. That was when Finn gave Leal his ship.”
(Talk about telling instead of showing!)
My favorite line in the Leal description is that he is “experienced as sea, not as much with the ladies.”
It appears that Leal, age 23, had only been in love once before, with a “whore” named Nissa who dumped him for a rich guy.
He took his broken heart to the seas with his first mate, Dacy. (These guys have truly awful names!)
The book’s heroine is Brianna. “Ivory color, long auburn hair, 5’6”, green eyes.” (I assume the ivory is in reference to her skin.)
Brianna and her younger brother Ben (at last a man with a normal name) are rich orphans. Brianna runs the family shipping business while Ben drinks and sleeps around.
“Brianna Dana sunk into her soft feather mattress, her beautiful back aching. Although she had been working on her family company’s books, she couldn’t deny the real reason she had stayed awake until 3 am was her brother, Ben. He had become well known for his drinking and playing with women during the six months since their parents died.”
Unable to control Ben, Brianna asks the husband of her best friend for help. The friend’s husband put Ben to work on… you guessed it, Leal’s ship.
Leal must have had issues with drinking, because he doesn’t allow it on his ship. When Ben gets drunk on board, he locks him up. When they dock, Ben goes home to whine to Brianna.
“The moment the Maiden Lady had docked, Ben was off the ship and headed home. For three weeks that bastard Tavis kept him locked up in the dark belly of the ship. He or Dacy came to take Ben topside once a day and brought food, but to Ben that was small conciliation.”
Brianna, angry at how her brother was treated, storms the ship.
Here my notes say, “First meeting! Friction, of course.” (I kind of love my seventeen year old self.)
‘Now, Miss Dana, If you will accompany me to my office we…’
Brianna interrupted. ‘I will go nowhere with you, you scoundrel. You might lock me up.’
Leal grinned charmingly at Brianna. No doubt she had heard a very biased interpretation of the past events.”
Leal insists that Ben has to finish out his contract (This seems a bit out of time period, but what can I say. I was 17.) Brianna volunteers to do it instead.
After Leal agrees, Ben and Brianna fight about her finishing his job for him. She wins and he “drinks himself into a stupor.”
They set sail and there’s a bunch of ship stuff leading up to the first sex scene…
“Brianna sighed deeply and pulled at Leal’s billowy shirt. She wanted to feel his skin on hers, to feel his heat. Leal quickly shed his shirt and britches, and carried the lovely vixen to his bed.”
(With a name like Leal and the “billowy” shirt, I’m surprised he didn’t carry brother Ben to his bed instead of the “lovely vixen.”)
After the sex scene, things kind of fall apart plot-wise.
Ben is somehow locked in a storehouse by some guy named Wolcott, who is best friends with the jealous son of the man who gave Leal his ship.
And Leal’s first love, the whore Nissa, comes into the story somehow too.
It all boils down to Leal and Brianna have to save the kidnapped Ben. And more sex.
In the process Nissa is set out on a raft in the middle of the ocean to die, the bad guy Wolcott is mutinied on his own ship and Leal accidentally kills the son of the man who gave him the boat.
Then he and Brianna get engaged and live happily ever after.
“’Well, Love, we will soon be married,’ Leal murmured.
Brianna looked into his eyes. ‘I will always love you,” and she melted into his embrace, kissing him passionately.'”
The End. (Written in flowery cursive.)
It’s nice enough ending, but I think poor Ben got left locked in the storehouse.