One Thousand Words to Update You On My Declarations

I realized as I wandered around my bedroom brushing my teeth, that I have posted several to do lists over the past few months, but not taken the time to look back and see if I’ve accomplished anything.

Some are just little mental notes to myself in posts and others were resolutions or to do items. Let’s call them declarations. “I will” statements.

So I thought I’d take a moment and update you on my progress.

I’m not going to do this every month, just thought it would be interesting to see where I’m at one month into the new year or in some cases, several months after I made the declaration.

I think I’ll take the same route to work tomorrow and if the statue of liberty is out there dancing again, I’m going to give him a wave. Not a quick, desultory wave. But a big one. And a real smile too. I might even honk my horn once or twice.

Well, I forgot to drive to work the back way the day after I posted that. But over the weekend I did drive by the tax place. There was not one, but two dancing statues of liberty (statue of liberties?). The second one wasn’t dancing as much as the original, but he was grooving a little bit.

And directly across the road from the statues, Darth Vader was selling cell phone.

I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t wave to any of them. I didn’t smile or honk my horn either. I look straight ahead and pretended I didn’t see them.

I guess old habbits died hard.

I will stand at the sink while brushing my teeth and I will not leave toothpaste rings on my towel.

As you can probably guess by the way I started tonight’s post, I have failed at this declaration.

Well, half failed really. I still wander. I have good intentions. I think, “I’m going to stand at this sink” but I get bored. Or I wonder if I have any email, so I go check it. Or if I have any cash in my bag.

But I have made an effort to rinse my mouth off and not leave white toothpaste rings on my towel.

I will learn how to blow dry my hair properly.

Although I would not say that I’m a proficient blow dryer, I do think I am slowly strengthening my blow dryer skills.

I am now able to use the brush and the blow dryer at the same time and I haven’t once had to use the scissors to cut the brush out of my hair. And I haven’t burned myself either.

Some days my hair looks better than others, but that happened when I was just flipping over and pointing the hairdryer willy nilly.

I expect I’ll get better at this blow drying thing over time and be a master blow dryer within the year.

I will buy a nightgown I wouldn’t be embarrassed to die in.

I’m still sleeping in either an old t-shirt or my ripped up favorite nightgown.

I’ve tried to accomplish this goal. I really have.

Every time I go into a store, I look at the nightgowns.

But I find something wrong with every single one. They’re too short, the sleeves aren’t long enough, the material is scratchy, there are too many buttons.

And I have a hard time spending money on something that only I’m going to see. Maybe if I was married, I’d feel differently but in the meantime I’m giving up on the nightgown shopping.


I will eat peanut butter without spilling it on myself.

I was well on my way to accomplishing this goal. I simply gave up eating peanut butter. I figured it was healthier too.

But earlier this week I was sick of cereal and wanted a slice of toast. I don’t like jam and plain old buttered toast is boring. So I broke out the peanut butter.

I remembered this resolution and was extra careful. I held the toast over the plate and used two napkins.

But when I got to work, there was a big old smear of peanut butter on my pants.

What am I doing wrong?

Until I figure it out, I’m going back to my peanut butter boycott.


I will wear silver and gold at the same time.

This hasn’t happened. I haven’t even tried.

It’s not like I’ve considered putting on gold and silver jewelry and decided against it. I just haven’t thought about doing it.

Research how to actually develop an actual plot in my Might Possibly Become a Novel (MPBAN).

This is a big old fail on my part. I haven’t worked in my MPBAN since the day after Christmas. I’m lost.

One of the problems is that I’m a planner. I plan everything from my weekend to what I’m going to wear to work all week.

But with my MPBAN, I’ve been happily writing scenes trusting that some sort of plot is going to emerge.

It hasn’t.

And my lack of a plan, or plot, has me frozen into inaction.

I don’t know what to do to move forward. Do I just keep writing? So I try to force some sort of plot onto the characters? Do I give up?

Install Spotify on my mother’s computer.

This item got put on hold when my mother’s computer bit the dust. I actually helped it bite the dust when I dropped something on the keyboard and broke the L and O keys. Do you know how often us use the L and O keys?

So we got her a new one and I’ve still not installed Spotifiy. Maybe this weekend.

Organize my iPhone.

Done!

I’m not doing so well, out of nine declarations I’ve only followed through on two and a half of them.

That’s why I don’t make resolutions. I just end up disappointed in myself when I fail to accomplish what I set out to do.

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