One Thousand Words on Cameos

I just watched a really stupid movie. It had Jennifer Aniston (who I usually enjoy. She’s Rachel!) and Adam Sandler (who I don’t usually enjoy, but hey he’s from New Hampshire). It was so stupid that it just ended thirty minutes ago and I can’t remember the name of it. Honestly. I’m not just saying that. (By the way, I’m concerned because the word count feature in Microsoft Word isn’t counting. It’s stuck at fifty and not moving. What do I do? I’ve come to rely heavily on word count. It can’t just stop working! Ok, I just saved the document and it’s back. Whew!)

This movie also starred Brooklyn Decker: swimsuit model, actress (I guess) and wife to Andy Roddick, a top ten tennis player. He has a cameo in the end, wearing a big “I love Justin” necklace. That’s Justin Timberlake… there’s a running ‘N Sync joke in the movie. That should tell you something.

If I were somebody with influence… a famous actor, director, athlete, musician, the president… I would make cameos in movies all the time. Sort of like Alfred Hitchcock in his movies. I wouldn’t even need any lines, just be in a crowd scene somewhere or something like that. I could be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the great number of movie appearances!

Here are some movies I would have loved to have cameos in:

The Princess Bride. My all time favorite movie. I saw it in the theater with friends and I remember talking my mom out of attending a parent’s night at high school to go see it with me again. She says that it didn’t happen that way, but it did! It would have been fun to be in the audience for Humperdinck and Buttercup’s wedding in this movie. Or a member of the “brute squad.” If the cameo was a non-crowd scene role, I would have liked to be at Miracle Max’s. I think I would have been great as his assistant, preparing potions and hiding under the table while he and his wife argued.

Top Gun. This was one of my favorites in high school so I still like it for sentimental reasons. I watched ER regularly and I insisted on calling Anthony Edwards “Goose” the whole time because of Top Gun. The best scene has to be the bar scene where they lip sync “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling.” I’d settle for being an extra in that scene for my cameo, no lines needed.

Pirate Radio. I saw this movie not that long ago and it’s on my favorite list. It’s just a great movie. I really like Philip Seymour Hoffman. My cameo could have been one of the girls that gets shipped on to the boat to hook up with the guys. No wait! I would have liked to have been one of the people at the end that fish the deejays out of the water (Sorry if you haven’t seen it yet!)

Waiting for Guffman (Or any Christopher Guest movie.) I’m not a big movie buff. I don’t follow filmmakers and make sure to see everything a certain director makes. If it’s not one of the big names (Steve Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen), I’ve probably never heard of them. The exception to this is Christopher Guest. I absolutely adore his movies! Waiting for Guffman is my favorite because I’ve done a lot of community theater and can relate, but I love them all. A Mighty Wind, Best in Show… I think it’s genius how he shines a light on a particular subculture and all is absurdities. I would do just about anything for a cameo in Waiting for Guffman, but if I got to pick I would have liked to have been in the orchestra, or a customer in Corky’s store in the end, or one of the auditioners. Anyone, really.

Towering Inferno. I have a fear of fire, which I think it goes back to being a kid and watching a house across the street burn down, so I don’t know what possessed me to watch this movie (Actually, I do. My mother loves apocalyptical movies. We watched that one where the world froze over. I shivered and shook through the whole thing and she loved it. Towering Inferno isn’t really about an apocalypse, sort of felt like one of those movies so I think it was her idea to watch it.) Despite the fact that OJ Simpson’s character leaves about a quarter of the way through to find a missing cat and he isn’t seen again until the very end (holding the cat!) Towering Inferno terrified me. But there’s a scene in the movie where all these people jump on this basket like thing on a zip line set up between two buildings. It’s supposed to take them from the burning building to safety, but too many people get in it and the line breaks. It would have been fun to be one of the people in the basket that falls to their deaths. That would be better than being someone who catches on fire and then falls to their death!

Truth About Cats and Dogs. I’m almost embarrassed to include this movie. I guess I just like the whole shorter, dumpier girl gets the guy thing, with the animal twist. And Janeane Garofalo is good, although she’s usually edgier so I wonder what made her film a Rom Com. I would have just wanted to be one of the people who calls into her radio program with a pet problem for my cameo in this one.

Rent. So this wasn’t the best movie musical, but it’s Rent! I would do just about anything to be in a scene with Jesse L. Martin. (I even named my cats Angel and Collins.) This one is a no brainer. I would have been in the subway scene where they sing “Santa Fe.” I can’t even imagine how amazing that would have been.

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